Several years ago, I was asked to attend a community meeting at a small reservation in one of the western states. Two young men took their lives within a four-month period and the community was scared. They came together for comfort, for information, and to discuss what they could do to prevent further suicide attempts. They wanted to save their young people and achieve some sort of healing.
I had been invited because of my research in suicide prevention among Native young people, however, they did not specify what topic they wanted me to present. I was struck by the size of the crowd. The total population of the community was only about 400 and nearly 175 were in attendance. I noticed immediately the lack of any young people--all in attendance were adults. Since I was the last presenter, I sat back to listen.
The first presenter was a Catholic priest in his 70's. He was gentle and kindly. He told the people they must have faith. They must pray. He said, "God loves us. Only He knows why these things have to happen."
The second presenter was a psychologist from the Indian Health Service. He spent all of his time answering questions. "Why did this young person kill himself?" "Why did this have to happen?" "Why........?" At first I was a little irked. I thought, "If you want to know why this is going on, why don't you ask the kids, they will tell you."
I began to think about my role. I remembered watching grandmothers, aunties, or older ladies, and that whenever there was a death in the family, or some other trauma, they would always get busy doing something. They would begin to cook, for they knew the people would need to be fed, or, they would begin to clean--sweeping, dusting, picking up. It didn't seen to matter--only that they were doing something. Trauma, especially the loss of your children or other loved ones, creates a confusion, a depression, a swirl of negative energy that frequently prevents rational thinking. It looks and acts like a "black cloud" that hangs over you--it blocks the light and keeps you in a state of hopelessness. If one is allowed to remain in this state, our elders tell us "that one too will become ill". The grandmothers intuitively understood this and began to work, to do something--they undertook a task that would get them moving and out of their head.
Now it was my turn. I thought, yes, the people needed to have their faith reaffirmed and be told to pray. The apparent randomness and sudden violence needed to be put in some "universal or cosmic" order. The people also needed for someone to explain "why" to them. There was, however, one critical element missing. No one had told them how to deal with the intense pain, fear and loss, no one had helped them formulate a plan of action, and no one had given them tasks to do.
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